Paulelmo's Blog

That Little Silicon “For Freshness” Thingy in the Pepperoni Package

All right, first off, I dig sliced Hormel pepperoni. Lately I’ve been digging it with those new Rosemary and Olive Oil Triscuits, but in the past I’ve eaten it with Ritz and Clubs and Townhouses, cheese being optional, depending on if I was too lazy at the time to slice any. Becky likes the turkey pepperoni, and it’s fine as well, but, for me, the good old pig-ass fat original is the best.

Still, I have a complaint with the Hormel company when it comes to their pepperoni. Why do you continue to put that little packet of silicon in my pepperoni for freshness? It’s pepperoni, so it’s not like it’s not going to sell. Pepperoni is like bacon, and bacon’s like crack, and ain’t no crack dealers down on the corner saying, “Man, I wish I didn’t have all this crack! What am i going to do with all this crack?”

Pepperoni sells fast enough for you to skip the little silicon thingy, which you could replace with a couple more pieces of pepperoni. Then, when I got a pack of pepperoni and judged that it could be a little fresher, I wouldn’t be ticked; I’d just be like, “That’s ok, at least they gave me a couple extra pieces of pepperoni to compensate for the loss of freshness.”

I hate it when I reach for a piece of pepperoni and pull that little dealio out; I just feel cheated, and I would think that the folks at Hormel wouldn’t want such a longstanding customer feeling that way.

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