“Pull Over, Dilweed”

I can usually divine certain things about someone by the kind of car they drive, or at least I think I can. A full-sized SUV is usually driven by parents, and Chrysler 300s are not often driven by people under 50.

This isn’t prejudice, mind you, but just a smart tool in the box of a good driver. Having a good idea of just who might be behind the wheel of the cars around me helps me have an idea of what kind of driving I can expect of them.

For example, I imagine I have a better chance of being cut-off by someone driving any type of car that looks like a box of Saltines than I do a person who is driving a sedan that is more than ten years old.

When I see a late model full-sized pick-up with a company logo on it, I think I can assume that the driver is a man–maybe a woman, but I’d be willing to wager that a study would find that more men drive full-sized company trucks than women–probably with a family, who is at least 30 years of age. I imagine that he is established, pays his bills well enough, and can be trusted to care for things of value.

I also imagine that, since he is out in the world doing business and getting things done, he realizes that the world needs to go by a certain order, if the world is going to keep moving in the safe and sane manner we all depend on.

What I don’t imagine is to see him stay on the road and pass me, after I’ve pulled to the shoulder to let the fast approaching ambulance fly past me, full lights and sirens. Nor do I expect him to remain in the lane so long that the ambulance driver has to go around him with a quick swerve, pulling to the shoulder so late he really shouldn’t have bothered.

All I can think is this: If all that happened because you were wearing your earbuds, maybe you’d be more comfortable in a Hyundai, or a Scion.

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