Paulelmo's Blog

With shame, with regret

A lady was talking to me about the blog recently, and she let on that I should, or at least might, be ashamed of some of the things from my past that I’ve mentioned here. Well, I am, which is why those things bear mentioning.

Of course I’m ashamed of some of those things, and I regret so much of a couple and a half decades. I don’t understand people who say they don’t have regret for things in their past. I’ve probably mentioned that here before, but maybe it should be said again.

Yes, I understand the reasoning; “I can’t regret anything because everything from my past goes into the make-up of who I am today, and if I’m cool with who I am today, I can’t regret anything that’s part of that.” It’s not that I don’t get that, I do; still, as pleased as I am with who and where I am these days, what’s to say that I wouldn’t even be more so if I’d caught on to how mature life is to be lived earlier.

There’s much of my past that shames me, much I regret, but shying away from it seems to redouble its damage. If owning up to it, if bringing it here can help someone take something from it, then I can’t hide from the shame of it.

That being the case, I probably don’t need to be reminded how shamefully I’ve acted or how much regret I should have; I’ve enough of all of that to do me.

Much love. Happy Sunday!

6 Replies to “With shame, with regret”

  1. Everyone has something in their life that they aren’t proud of. The things I’ve seen and done, i live with every day. Do I regret any of it though? Not in the slightest bit. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without those experiences. I wouldn’t have molded the Marines and Soldiers I’ve mentored, into the the men and woman they are today, without those experiences. Regreting your past not only hurts yourself, but also those who look up to you for your leadership and guidance.

    1. And I’m enlightened. It’s amazing when we can be different and respectful of those differences. I really dig your clarity and conciseness. Are you a soldier? I’ll stop by and check. Thanks so much.

  2. Here’s a nice quote I saw:
    “Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it – it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story the shame metastasizes” Brene Brown

    Keep sharing 👍

  3. Pointing out someone else’s flaws serves only to show a person’s true, poor character. All people are imperfect humans, and if your story helps another to relate, realize they are not alone in their struggle, all the better way to serve. Tell it like it is, brother, those who don’t approve may look away. I sincerely do not believe there’s a closet out there completely without a skeleton.
    Keepin’ it real! SV

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: