I have to stop pushing the play button on the Google home page and starting that cutesy little cartoon from the Olympics (or) Perhaps a story that Mitch Hedberg forgot to tell

I have to stop pushing the play button on the Google home page and starting that cutesy little cartoon from the Olympics. Today there is a chairlift, and there are fireworks. I know this because their commotion led me to look away from trying to scroll down. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to say it: spoiler.

My kid showed me the first of these like three days ago, and it was cool and all with a ten year old and a six year old excitedly watching me watch it for the first time, but then I’ve pushed it the last three days, and maybe I’m forgetting that I realized you can’t scroll down. I mean, I’m down with you playing your little video an’ all–I could really care less; I stop watching them. Still, no scrolling down? I didn’t know there was a commitment involved. I feel like I’m in a Mitch Hedberg joke. Yeah. I miss that dude.

So, yeah, maybe I should have given that up for Lent. I wouldn’t make it, but when do I ever? I think I made it once, maybe twice. I’m not Catholic; rather, I just like the thought of abstinence. Abstinence is overcoming. I’m not a Nietzsche-an, but I like what he says in the early pages of Zarathustra about the four things we should do ten times every day in order to sleep well, one of which is to overcome ourselves. However, overcoming is bitter, so we must reconcile ourselves ten times as well. So, if I overcome myself and don’t click on the video, I reconcile myself by being pleased that I didn’t click on it. That should help me sleep better.

That is no longer my recipe for sleep, however. My current recipe for sleep is to just roll until I can’t roll no more, and then sleep until I wake up, and then I start it all again. That works pretty well. If that’s not your bag, however, the theory of the 40 thoughts or the recipe for sleep has gotta be worth a shot.

But I wound up not giving up anything for Lent.

Somewhere this all comes together at a cute little point. I’m just certain it does. We might, however, have to wait until after the fireworks end.