Paulelmo's Blog

Another story about shoplifting grapes–them little criminals

I was not always the savvy grape buyer that I am these days. One of the days back when I was not so gifted at those purchases, I happened to be watching Simon, as well as Cassondra’s daughter India, and I took them grocery shopping.

So, I was buying grapes, and I got them, and they’re all open, and I just assume for some reason that the price is the price and not the price per pound.

So, here Simon and India are, they’re both about two; I’ve got them both riding in the basket of the cart, and there those grapes are, top unzipped even. They want some of course; they’re two, they want everything. Most of the stuff they want, however, is in boxes and bags, apparatuses that they would require help with if they were going to get to the desired stuff inside.

Not so with these grapes, however; they’re just right there, only a plucking and a plopping away from sweet sensation. So, they ask me if they can have some, and I’m like sure. I was buying the grapes for them, anyway, and if letting them have some will help me get through the grocery store easier and quicker, have at em.

Now, in most grocery stores, the produce section is either toward the end of the trip or at the beginning, depending on which way you travel through the store. This happened to be one of those with the produce toward the beginning of the store, so them little criminals had about all day to sit there and munch.

I don’t recall any looks on their faces other than the joy of eating grapes, but at some point you just have to imagine that they were like, “You think this dude’s gonna just push this cart around all day and let us eat grapes?” You have to think that would have written across them at some point.

Those kids ate so many grapes that somebody’s great aunt would be saying stuff like, “You want to watch, too many will give you a tummy ache.”

And then we checked out, paying for a good amount fewer grapes than were in the bag when we got it off the shelf–“What’re you gonna do? They don’t even zipper the thing.”–and the three of us, me and them two little grapelifters strolled right on out that door not having any idea that we’d done anything wrong at all, criminals and and accessory.

It wasn’t until I got home and looked over the receipt that I discovered that you buy grapes by weight. Oh well, what are you gonna do? Next time I’ll know.

Be well, beautiful people; you’re in my prayers.

4 Replies to “Another story about shoplifting grapes–them little criminals”

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